One year later

I hope next year I will be a better person than I am today.
I love quotes, on Instagram I follow a couple of accounts full with quotes, they are so inspiring.

Last year I moved to Antwerp, now it feels like it never happened. Life can be so strange. The first year I lived on myself, lived in another country and tried to follow my dreams. What I had hoped for, didn't happen. A lot of other stuff happened, I met great people and I know I learned A LOT about myself and my talents.

But I also had a hard time by knowing that I couldn't do it. I never had this before, but I think everybody sometimes falls, and has to face the hard facts. 

Now I have a completely other life. The first days at school went very well. It was like I could breath again, because everything was so familiair. I think the Dutch school system is better for me.  I live in Amsterdam, with great people around me. And yes, i'm still scared that I can't do it, but that's my own insecurity, I need to work on...Where I will be next year? I have no idea. I hope still in Amsterdam. 

So this quote got me thinking; how exactly am I different and what are the lessons that I've learned? So, I came up with a list of the 4  most important things from the past year. 

1. How-to say 'No'
When I was saying yes all the time, I was spreading myself too thin . I don't want to dissapoint people, but I have to think about myself too. When I say 'No', I also don't want to apologize anymore. Well, it depends in which case of course. 

2. People think my life is easy
Because I'm always smiling and I don't want to show my feelings it's not that i'm always 'fine'. I do everything by myself, and I suffer from terrible anxiety

3. How to ask for help
As much as I would like to think that I am superwoman with incredible super powers, the fact is that I can't do it alone. For example: my study. There are so many people who would like to help me, but I never call them. 
I want to remember my kick-ass support group. Being surrounded by people who believe in me is essential. 

 4. I am exactly where i'm supposed to be
Everything happens for a reason. I always wanted to live in Amsterdam and nowehere else. Here I am. With all the struggles and challenges that have presented themselves this past year, I have never been more sure of my place in the world. I have found a passion deeper than anything I could have imagined: Writing. This year, and even last year, is moving me closer to my goals. 

I can't wait to see what happens next.